Time

Time

Time is an everlasting thing that always stays with us, always moving us along. It gives us moments we always want to relive, moments we never wish to end. But, what about the moments we want to forget? Aren't those the moments that shape us the best? I'd like to believe that all I am, and all I ever will be, is something that was shaped by the moments that I wanted to give up, the moments I wanted to give in to.

Those hard times that I've fallen are the moments I've learned to look back on, and love. Yes, I love the moments when I was close to swallowing a bottle of sleeping pills, the moment I crawled up the stairs, throwing up this nasty blue color, after I had swallowed those pills. The moments when death was so much better then reality. 

I don't know how many times I've had like that. Too much to count by now. Maybe it's the hormones, maybe it's the lack of sleep, maybe it's the bit of death I feel each day as I hear my mother and her boyfriend fight, the name calling, the foul language, and the bad attitudes that carry on to my and my little sister.

I am a person.

I get hurt by mean words.

I am not dead inside.

And I am growing closer to accepting myself.

A Person That I Fear is Me

I look into a well, and the face of my enemy smiles at me.

I'm small, weak, and fragile, I'm hardly ever really seen.

I look into the abyss, and I fear, it isn't me it can see.

I just blend in, I am too normal, too plain, to ever dream.

I am a wall to be walked around, stepped on like the ground.

I am paralyzed by fear, I feel my heart finally bleed tears.

I've been waiting for myself to spread it's wings.

But the caterpillar must stay alive 'till the end.

I've been longing for the voice in my head, but it never sings.

It's not like I can continue to pretend.

I'm not real, a broken heart that cannot heal.

A ghost in the shell, my soul was eaten by hell.

A person that I fear is me, is starting to work it's way in.

Into my life, into the story I've imagined for me.

It starts off friendly, now I'm covered in sin.

I fear that people have begun to see,

See a me, that I never wanted to be.